my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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