Non-Jews are for practice
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
