I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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