the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
