margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
