well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
