I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
