Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
