Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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