I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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