these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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