i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
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