you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
