The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
