i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
