I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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