I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
