You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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