Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My vagina is officially offended.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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