if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
