I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
