we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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