Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
