It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my being single is dangerous.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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