so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My vagina is officially offended.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
