Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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