that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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