you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
