He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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