Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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