Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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