just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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