Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
