Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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