A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
