So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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