I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
whose parrot is this?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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