I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He passed out mid-signature
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
