No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
