He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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