Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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