Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Vodka?
Forever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
