It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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