I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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