gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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