508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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