I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
