she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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