I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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