I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
