And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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