Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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